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A Confession

Your name had drawn me to you. Yes, Even before I saw you, your name held a curiosity;
And that is the reason I spoke to you.
We acknowledged our friendship and it was normal for both of us. But somewhere I had my doubts as to what you really are. Kinda bad boy?, my mind questioned a lot.
But you made me feel comfortable around you.  And that was all I wanted.

As days passed,we were much more ease with one another. You never pretended, which I liked most.
You are not the Oh sooo sweeet guy type. But more of bitter.. Bittersweet guy..
A caring guy. I felt your care almost always! But you also teased me, called me names.. But then it all made us much closer.

And we became Best Friends!! :) :)

Days,months,years passed in blink of eye

But in all these whirlwind I liked you so much..Or much more than that
I am not sure whether you realized it or not but I took my time for the realization to sink in.
Was it just like? or did I get attached to you.. I couldn't find answer.
But I think you guessed it, and you threw subtle questions and I gave vague answers,
You never forced me to answer too!

You just started stating facts.. On the face facts!!
And I slowly understood what my heart felt but I also faced the reality.

Reality, it covered my feelings for you.. I didn't voice it out

Unsaid words
Filled my heart
My smile masked the emotions
And I lived on..

Sometimes it was too much to bear and I became angry on myself.

Questions that I wanted to ask you remained unanswered..
And the answers to unasked questions wept in my heart in the dark of night..

There's no future.. my mind said as feelings grew more deeper with each day.. 
We were closer than before..

Again it was the same reality taking you away,with the promise of not forgetting each other..

I wanted to say you all..
I wanted to confess my feelings. I ached for you..
Yes I loved you so much that it hurt... 
Tears slid past eyes and pain clenched my heart
I felt exhausted emotionally

I read somewhere that - Sometimes it's not the butterflies that tell you you're in love, but the pain.
How true it is!!

If only I could just tell you once that I love you..
If only I could know what you really feel for me...


She closed her dairy. Her feelings were now shared after many years 
now a married woman, mother of a teenage girl..
And her love?? well she doesn't know. He too would've married.. And she hopes that he wouldn't forget her at least.



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